Post by Prez Shay on Jun 14, 2004 20:59:44 GMT 10
The crowd are sitting around waiting for the Poison video to start… but none does. Instead, the pyros for the show start instantly, taking the crowd by surprise as many leap into the air in shock, and Alice Cooper’s ‘Poison’ blasts through the speakers!
Commentator #1: “The video commencement seems to have been skipped for this current show of ‘Dangerous Substance!’”
Commentator #2: “Indeed Commentator number 1. Although my circuits inform me that the correct name of the show tonight is ‘Poison!’
As the fans cheer madly for the song, and the numerous wrestler videos being shown on the Titantron, Rob and Steve come running down from backstage!
Commentator #2: “Now has come our time to depart number one.”
Suddenly both identical and oddly shiny commentators jump up from their seats, leap over the fence, and disappear through the crowd, making a bizarre “whoop whoop whoop” sound as they run. Rob and Steve take their rightful place at commentary, as the Poison music comes to a close.
Rob: “I’m sorry about that folks. We have no idea who those people are or how they keep getting into the building.”
Steve: “It’s the vents I say. There’s MUTANTS IN THE VENTS!”
Rob: “Er… anyway… what a show we have for you tonight! Fresh from the victories of Hardcore Kid, Maverick, Chris Bond, and Slappy the Clown, the AWO has lined up another four huge matches, to decide who else will be going into round two of this huge singles tournament.”
Steve: “Huge matches tonight, concluding with Mike ‘the Man’ Polowy going up against Scruffy Dog. It doesn’t get much bigger than that Rob.”
Rob: “It certainly doesn’t. And before that we’ve got Spark going up against the Slapster, Jonathon Cash going toe to toe against Decade, and one I’m certainly looking forward to… Ice Rock versus Maze!”
Steve: “I’ve got to ask where AWO keeps coming up with these people. We’ve already seen what Ice Rock is capable of, and now this Maze guy shows up and it turns out he’s just as, if not more, insane!”
Suddenly, as if the crowd aren’t cheered out enough, the Titantron flares to life, and sitting on an armchair, is Scruffy Dog, Spark is sitting on the arm, with her arm around the back of Scruffy Dog’s neck. Some generic interviewer is sitting across camera, and he speaks as the crowd begins to settle down.
Interviewer: “Scruffy Dog, Spark. You both have important matches tonight, and I’ve taken this opportunity to speak with you because this is the first chance the public have really seen to see you together since Over the Edge. Spark, let me start with you.”
Spark smiles and nods, as the crowd cheers again, watching on.
Interviewer: “Spark, you have a match against the Slapster. He’s a mammoth of a man, and has to be tough for your first opponent in an AWO match. What do you think your chances are?”
Spark opens her mouth to answer, but Scruffy Dog cuts her off.
Scruffy Dog: “We really don’t have time for all these questions. We have to train. So let me give it a quick summary. Spark is back in the AWO. And I couldn’t be happier. And she couldn’t be happier. Sure, Slapster’s tough, but win or lose Spark is gonna give him more than he bargains for, I can guarantee you of that. And I’m sure you’re going to ask about my match with Mike? Well… for a long time my life was shrouded in darkness. Now, thanks to the AWO and thanks to…”
Scruffy Dog looks at Spark, and they both smile, but Scruffy Dog moves on.
Scruffy Dog: “… my life has become perfect. No more darkness. My life is now in a clear, straight direction. And that’s leading right into the Main Event at Heavy Metal against Cheap Shot. And Mike’s only the first hurdle in many to come. But I’m sure clearing him won’t be that much of a problem.
Because now that I’m back in the AWO, and now that I have Spark by my side… I feel like I’m invincible!”
The crowd cheers and Scruffy Dog steps up and walks away from the view of the camera and towards the ring, his arm over Spark’s shoulder, as the Titantron fades to black and the crowd cheers again. After a moment ‘Bring Me to Life” by Evanescence hits the AWO speakers and all the fans rise to their feet, partly to try and get a look down Spark’s substantial cleavage in her leather halter neck top and also for the fans in the cheap seats trying to see anything at all. Spark looks ready to wrestle in her high heels, full make-up and tight pants. She walks slowly down the ramp, perhaps not capable of moving any faster.
Larry: “Introducing your first competitor, from Las Vegas, Nevada, the ever-lovely wife of Scruffy Dog… Spark!”
The fans go crazy for her and she just waves to a few fans here and there. She finally reaches the apron and walks slowly up the ring steps, stepping through the ropes and waving to the crowd and blowing kisses around. She kicks off her high heels and looks up at the curtain expectantly.
“Mouth for War” by Pantera hits, sending all the fans into a frenzy of boos for the most sadistic clown ever to grace the AWO arena. He wears his clown face paint and leather vest with fire-ridden clown faces all over it.
Larry: “Your second competitor, from places unknown, the nastiest clown ever to grace a wrestling ring… Slapster!”
He rubs his bald head for a minute before running down the ramp to the ring. The fans all continue the insane boos as he leaps to his feet in the ring and he stares across at Spark who he obviously dwarfs by nearly an entire foot. She doesn’t seem disturbed by this size deficit and has a determined look in her eye.
Rob: “Looks like Spark is out here to fight tonight against the Slapster who has an obvious size advantage.”
Steve: “Yeah, I hope she doesn’t get hurt too badly.”
Larry: “This match is scheduled for one fall and the winner will advance to the 2nd round of the tournament.”
The bell rings and Slapster automatically runs at Spark who ducks under a heavy arm, dodging a clothesline and leaving Slapster off balance. Spark runs at him and grabs his legs, taking him down hard to the ground.
Rob: “Wow, great use of her speed there.”
Steve: “Yeah, if she wants any chance of a win here she’s gonna have to exploit Slapster’s size.”
Spark falls on Slapster for a quick cover but doesn’t even get a one count before Slapster throws her into the air and back up to her feet.
Rob: “Wow, great strength from Slapster there.”
Steve: “Blinky could have thrown Spark back to her feet, she’s a petite little thing.”
Rob: “Blinky is a fine athlete and I won’t have you badmouthing the man.”
Slapster and Spark face off before Slapster just leaps forward and Spark can’t evade this shot, sending her crashing down to the mat.
Rob: “Whoa, that was a bit of overkill I think.”
Steve: “Rob, this man is a monster, do you honestly think he has any sense of when enough is enough?”
Rob: “Fair point.”
Slapster drops onto Spark for the pin that would more than likely finish the match but the count doesn’t come. He looks up and sees the ref, mesmerized. The ref is looking down at ringside where now Cheap Shot, Scruffy and Stalin all stand dressed as Hitler, Himmler and Stalin respectively.
Slapster tries clapping loudly to distract the ref but his eyes are trained intently on the three on the mats outside who appear to be acting out a play of some sort involving major historical events. Cheap Shot has one finger over his top lip and one hand extended straight out while Scruffy wears a Nazi officer’s uniform with hat and random little fake war medals included. Stalin’s moustache appears to have been left unkempt and is now bigger than it ever was. The three just do their own random little dances and mannerisms, occupying the ref as Slapster tries frantically to get the ref to come and count the pin.
Rob: “What the hell is going on here…?”
Steve: “Well, common sense would dictate that Scruffy, Cheap and Stalin are helping Spark.”
Slapster stands by the ropes, trying to shoo away the meddlesome dictators as Spark rises to her feet and looms behind Slapster, delivering a heavy low blow to Slapster!
Rob: “Whoa! OUCH!”
Steve: “Ouch is right, that looked really painful!”
Spark takes this advantage now to slide out of the ring and take on of the steel chairs at ringside that fold easily. Spark gets distracted by a crowd member and she starts taunting and showing off her cleavage and seducing random front row fans. She suddenly hears heavy footsteps behind her and as a reflex she spins around with the chair hitting Slapster right in the gut as he simultaneously slams the chair down on Spark’s head. She drops to the ground unconscious while Slapster just keels over, winded.
The bell starts ringing furiously and all the fans are completely confused as to who just won the match. Larry slides into the ring after stepping over a completely unconscious Spark. Disregarding his injured wife, Himmler as well as Hitler and Stalin all rigidly march out of the arena in a perfectly straight line. Spark bleeds from her head a little but not too badly.
Larry: “Under ordinary circumstances, the winner would be whoever did not use illegal means or objects to further their cause. However, being the AWO, the exceptional has occurred before you right now and both competitors have used steel chairs simultaneously, therefore declaring both of them the loser…
Commentator #1: “The video commencement seems to have been skipped for this current show of ‘Dangerous Substance!’”
Commentator #2: “Indeed Commentator number 1. Although my circuits inform me that the correct name of the show tonight is ‘Poison!’
As the fans cheer madly for the song, and the numerous wrestler videos being shown on the Titantron, Rob and Steve come running down from backstage!
Commentator #2: “Now has come our time to depart number one.”
Suddenly both identical and oddly shiny commentators jump up from their seats, leap over the fence, and disappear through the crowd, making a bizarre “whoop whoop whoop” sound as they run. Rob and Steve take their rightful place at commentary, as the Poison music comes to a close.
Rob: “I’m sorry about that folks. We have no idea who those people are or how they keep getting into the building.”
Steve: “It’s the vents I say. There’s MUTANTS IN THE VENTS!”
Rob: “Er… anyway… what a show we have for you tonight! Fresh from the victories of Hardcore Kid, Maverick, Chris Bond, and Slappy the Clown, the AWO has lined up another four huge matches, to decide who else will be going into round two of this huge singles tournament.”
Steve: “Huge matches tonight, concluding with Mike ‘the Man’ Polowy going up against Scruffy Dog. It doesn’t get much bigger than that Rob.”
Rob: “It certainly doesn’t. And before that we’ve got Spark going up against the Slapster, Jonathon Cash going toe to toe against Decade, and one I’m certainly looking forward to… Ice Rock versus Maze!”
Steve: “I’ve got to ask where AWO keeps coming up with these people. We’ve already seen what Ice Rock is capable of, and now this Maze guy shows up and it turns out he’s just as, if not more, insane!”
Suddenly, as if the crowd aren’t cheered out enough, the Titantron flares to life, and sitting on an armchair, is Scruffy Dog, Spark is sitting on the arm, with her arm around the back of Scruffy Dog’s neck. Some generic interviewer is sitting across camera, and he speaks as the crowd begins to settle down.
Interviewer: “Scruffy Dog, Spark. You both have important matches tonight, and I’ve taken this opportunity to speak with you because this is the first chance the public have really seen to see you together since Over the Edge. Spark, let me start with you.”
Spark smiles and nods, as the crowd cheers again, watching on.
Interviewer: “Spark, you have a match against the Slapster. He’s a mammoth of a man, and has to be tough for your first opponent in an AWO match. What do you think your chances are?”
Spark opens her mouth to answer, but Scruffy Dog cuts her off.
Scruffy Dog: “We really don’t have time for all these questions. We have to train. So let me give it a quick summary. Spark is back in the AWO. And I couldn’t be happier. And she couldn’t be happier. Sure, Slapster’s tough, but win or lose Spark is gonna give him more than he bargains for, I can guarantee you of that. And I’m sure you’re going to ask about my match with Mike? Well… for a long time my life was shrouded in darkness. Now, thanks to the AWO and thanks to…”
Scruffy Dog looks at Spark, and they both smile, but Scruffy Dog moves on.
Scruffy Dog: “… my life has become perfect. No more darkness. My life is now in a clear, straight direction. And that’s leading right into the Main Event at Heavy Metal against Cheap Shot. And Mike’s only the first hurdle in many to come. But I’m sure clearing him won’t be that much of a problem.
Because now that I’m back in the AWO, and now that I have Spark by my side… I feel like I’m invincible!”
The crowd cheers and Scruffy Dog steps up and walks away from the view of the camera and towards the ring, his arm over Spark’s shoulder, as the Titantron fades to black and the crowd cheers again. After a moment ‘Bring Me to Life” by Evanescence hits the AWO speakers and all the fans rise to their feet, partly to try and get a look down Spark’s substantial cleavage in her leather halter neck top and also for the fans in the cheap seats trying to see anything at all. Spark looks ready to wrestle in her high heels, full make-up and tight pants. She walks slowly down the ramp, perhaps not capable of moving any faster.
Larry: “Introducing your first competitor, from Las Vegas, Nevada, the ever-lovely wife of Scruffy Dog… Spark!”
The fans go crazy for her and she just waves to a few fans here and there. She finally reaches the apron and walks slowly up the ring steps, stepping through the ropes and waving to the crowd and blowing kisses around. She kicks off her high heels and looks up at the curtain expectantly.
“Mouth for War” by Pantera hits, sending all the fans into a frenzy of boos for the most sadistic clown ever to grace the AWO arena. He wears his clown face paint and leather vest with fire-ridden clown faces all over it.
Larry: “Your second competitor, from places unknown, the nastiest clown ever to grace a wrestling ring… Slapster!”
He rubs his bald head for a minute before running down the ramp to the ring. The fans all continue the insane boos as he leaps to his feet in the ring and he stares across at Spark who he obviously dwarfs by nearly an entire foot. She doesn’t seem disturbed by this size deficit and has a determined look in her eye.
Rob: “Looks like Spark is out here to fight tonight against the Slapster who has an obvious size advantage.”
Steve: “Yeah, I hope she doesn’t get hurt too badly.”
Larry: “This match is scheduled for one fall and the winner will advance to the 2nd round of the tournament.”
The bell rings and Slapster automatically runs at Spark who ducks under a heavy arm, dodging a clothesline and leaving Slapster off balance. Spark runs at him and grabs his legs, taking him down hard to the ground.
Rob: “Wow, great use of her speed there.”
Steve: “Yeah, if she wants any chance of a win here she’s gonna have to exploit Slapster’s size.”
Spark falls on Slapster for a quick cover but doesn’t even get a one count before Slapster throws her into the air and back up to her feet.
Rob: “Wow, great strength from Slapster there.”
Steve: “Blinky could have thrown Spark back to her feet, she’s a petite little thing.”
Rob: “Blinky is a fine athlete and I won’t have you badmouthing the man.”
Slapster and Spark face off before Slapster just leaps forward and Spark can’t evade this shot, sending her crashing down to the mat.
Rob: “Whoa, that was a bit of overkill I think.”
Steve: “Rob, this man is a monster, do you honestly think he has any sense of when enough is enough?”
Rob: “Fair point.”
Slapster drops onto Spark for the pin that would more than likely finish the match but the count doesn’t come. He looks up and sees the ref, mesmerized. The ref is looking down at ringside where now Cheap Shot, Scruffy and Stalin all stand dressed as Hitler, Himmler and Stalin respectively.
Slapster tries clapping loudly to distract the ref but his eyes are trained intently on the three on the mats outside who appear to be acting out a play of some sort involving major historical events. Cheap Shot has one finger over his top lip and one hand extended straight out while Scruffy wears a Nazi officer’s uniform with hat and random little fake war medals included. Stalin’s moustache appears to have been left unkempt and is now bigger than it ever was. The three just do their own random little dances and mannerisms, occupying the ref as Slapster tries frantically to get the ref to come and count the pin.
Rob: “What the hell is going on here…?”
Steve: “Well, common sense would dictate that Scruffy, Cheap and Stalin are helping Spark.”
Slapster stands by the ropes, trying to shoo away the meddlesome dictators as Spark rises to her feet and looms behind Slapster, delivering a heavy low blow to Slapster!
Rob: “Whoa! OUCH!”
Steve: “Ouch is right, that looked really painful!”
Spark takes this advantage now to slide out of the ring and take on of the steel chairs at ringside that fold easily. Spark gets distracted by a crowd member and she starts taunting and showing off her cleavage and seducing random front row fans. She suddenly hears heavy footsteps behind her and as a reflex she spins around with the chair hitting Slapster right in the gut as he simultaneously slams the chair down on Spark’s head. She drops to the ground unconscious while Slapster just keels over, winded.
The bell starts ringing furiously and all the fans are completely confused as to who just won the match. Larry slides into the ring after stepping over a completely unconscious Spark. Disregarding his injured wife, Himmler as well as Hitler and Stalin all rigidly march out of the arena in a perfectly straight line. Spark bleeds from her head a little but not too badly.
Larry: “Under ordinary circumstances, the winner would be whoever did not use illegal means or objects to further their cause. However, being the AWO, the exceptional has occurred before you right now and both competitors have used steel chairs simultaneously, therefore declaring both of them the loser…