(Special Event) AWO: Aggravated Assault

[Chris Bond]

The camera cuts to Michael Polowy standing in his locker room, taping up his wrists in preparation for the main event. He closes his eyes for a moment, reflecting on the last month of his life, when his concentration is broken by the sound of a door opening. He spins around defensively, only to stop dead out of pure shock. His hands drop to his side and his face goes blank, as the camera zooms in briefly on his own face, hiding the identity of the person who has just entered the locker room.

Voice: Jesus Kid, lighten up will ya? You look like you're seeing a freakin' ghost.

The camera pans left to find none other than wrestling icon Michael Fazoli, propping himself up on a cane near the doorway. His face is heavily bandaged up and what little of his face is actually visible is covered in bruises and stitches. He looks like something out of a horror movie, but a hint of a smile is visible even with his face a total mess. Polowy's face changes from shock to admiration and right back to shock again, and Fazoli attempts to hobble forward to the best of his ability. He's moving slow, but he resists Mike's attempts to help him out.

Fazoli: I'm not an invalid, kid, I can do it my goddamned self.

Polowy: What in the hell are you doing here? You shouldn't be out of bed. …You look like hell!

The grizzled old man laughs weakly, but it turns into a cough as quickly as it started and he hunches over a little bit, wincing. He clears his throat and forces himself back upright.

Fazoli: Come on, you think I was gonna miss this? This isn't just your night, Mike. This is the night of The Legend's Club. Win it tonight, and it all will have been worth it.

Polowy: Listen, Mike... I....

Fazoli: It's forgotten. Shit happens, it's the life we choose, ya know? Just go out there and do Scruffy one worse and we're even, alright?

Polowy just nods, not really sure what to say. Fazoli manages to hobble to the large leather couch facing the wide screen television, taking a seat and resting himself.

Polowy: I'm not coming back here without the world title.

Fazoli: You're damn right you ain't, kid. Now get the hell out of here and go break some fuckin' necks! I'm in the mood to celebrate something.

Polowy only nods, closing his eyes for a moment.

Polowy: You'd best plan on keeping your crippled ass seated firmly on that couch, Mike. I don't wanna see you bleeding twice in a week.

Fazoli chuckles but doesn't respond, as Mike Polowy turns and walks out of the locker room, closing the door behind him. The camera zooms in to the face of Mike Fazoli.

Fazoli: Fuckin' kids.

The AWO logo flashes across the screen. You can hear the fans in the Detroit Arena going wild as “Hate Me” by Blue October begins to play. The bell tomes throughout the arena as clips begin to play from Survival of the Fittest with Mike Polowy and Maverick being the last two in the ring. The two staring each other down then fades to the two of them going at it, with Maverick delivering the Mindbender.. only to be pulled out of the ring by Scruffy Dog. Then fading to Mike Polowy covering Maverick before going black.

“I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me?
It is I that wanted space.”

Highlights begin show Chris Bond announcing the card. Quickly fading from Bond to Mike Polowy and Scruffy Dog. The two are seen exchanging words before being interrupted by Nick Polowy. The three of them look like there are about to come to blows before it shows Chris Bond interrupting them and making it officially a triple threat match between the three of them. The clips fade to Chris Bond being laid out by the Survivor title shot to the face, compliments of Mike Polowy.

“Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you.”

Fading in the clip begins to show the arrival of Curtis Knight. Shots of Knight and Mike hanging out begin to fade into Guy Martin going from his past to the present by locking his stick in the locker. Pretty soon clips of Martin and Knight face to face begin to show a rivalry that will soon make tempers flair.

“I’m sober now for 3 whole months it’s one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won’t touch again
In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I’ll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind.”

Clips play of Mike and Nick bickering back and forth. It then fades into Scruffy Dog making a mockery out of the true life tribulations between Mike and Nick by performing Polowy: The Musical. The vignette shows a few shots from the musical before fading into a close-up of Scruffy Dog doing a rendition of the theme from “A Nightmare Before Christmas”.

“Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you.”

The video package continues with highlights of promos featuring an attempt on the life of Curtis Knight thanks to Paul Murder, an associate of Guy Martin. Quickly shots of the car explosion fade into the fire department putting out a fire in Knight’s locker room. The package quickly shows a shot of Guy dressed as the Unibomber then fading into the Extreme Title.

“And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling “Make it go away!”
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered “How can you do this to me?”.”

The scene then fades to Mike Polowy forming his “Legends Club.” Of course, Scruffy Dog makes a mockery of this by bringing his “League of Arrogance” and then dismantling it in the same shot. Fading into Mike Polowy taking a few jabs at Chris Bond, before attempting smash a sledgehammer in face of the Interim-President. Suddenly going black, a duck by Bond leads to the sledgehammer smashing into the face of Polowy’s mentor, Mike Fazoli. Clips quickly jump to Polowy being at the hospital, threatening nurses, and then fading into where Mike attacks a cameraman. Slowly fading into Chris Bond injecting Mike Polowy with a tranquilizer. The clips focus on Mikes face.. with his eyes slowly falling shut.

“Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you”

The clips quickly focus on a letter in front of Guy’s mother before she falls to the floor. It then quickly cuts to the cemetery, where it rains, and Guy delivers a eulogy. Fading into the hill, it shows a limo. Clips quickly fade to Guy placing flowers on his mother’s grave before walking over to Tia’s, his former lover, tombstone. It then fades to the limo door opening, and Curtis walking down to the headstone. It zooms in on a card which Curtis places on the grave, and quickly cuts to Guy’s stick that Curtis has laid down before fading to black.

“Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you
For you
For you
For you”

Highlights then play from Scruffy Dog appearing at Mike’s locker room, and then cutting to the bus stop where Mike is in a wheel chair, like a paraplegic. Quickly it shows Mike inside the Holocaust museum, and then in front of Ground Zero. Slowly it fades in on Scruffy Dog dressing Mike Polowy in stereotypical radical Muslim garb and placing a sign that offends many Americans. The vignette zooms in on the group of people massing around Mike, but quickly shoots to Scruffy who walks away with a smile on his face. It then shows Mike, looking into the camera sincerely, eyes full of hatred, and then it fades into his eye showing Mike Polowy holding Nick’s World title for ransom. Then it cuts to an older clip of Scruffy Dog holding the AWO World Title… and then cuts to Nick Polowy holding up his newly won Championship over the lifeless body of President Shay Semmens. The video quickly shows repeats that play faster and faster until a large explosion on the screen and the graphics for “AWO: Aggravated Assault” appear on the screen.

Complete Silence, Darkness, only light comes from the flashes of cameras. Then BAM! “Trigger” By In Flames blasts through the speakers and pyro is sent flying everywhere, the stage, the ramp and the ring. They alight the whole arena, its quite spectacular actually. The light show has finished, but no sign of Guy Martin at the stage. Suddenly a whole lot of sparks are sprayed into the air in one of the corners of the arena, up in the cheap seats. Then Guy stands out of the sparks, a crowd of fans surround him huddling, it’s like a mosh pit, all of them trying to get to Guy.

Rob: Ladies and Gentlemen.. welcome to AWO: Aggravated Assault! Already tonight we have witnessed the return of Mike Polowy’s mentor, Mike Fazoli, who most thought would be out until later this week!

Mike: That’s right folks, but there’s something you must realize. The Legend’s Club is made out of some tough stuff. They broke the mold when they made that group.

Rob: That must be the case. I guess we’re starting out with our Ladder Match and the first competitor is already on his way. Guy Martin who has everything to prove.. and everything to lose.

Mike: Oh my God, if Guy Martin could cry about anything else, jeez. Curtis didn’t kill his mother. Guy killed his mother because he wasn’t there to protect her. He makes me sick!

Rob: You make me sick Mike!

Guy is staring at the ground, not moving his gaze because of these people. He seems to be in a trance. He stands for about a minute, in this trance, his entrance music still playing. He slowly looks upwards, eyes closed, then toward the ceiling of the arena. The people are pushing and shoving up against him, but he doesn’t budge. He just stares up at the heavens above, certainly thinking about his mother and Tia. Then he starts his walk, the people part for him, leaving him path for him to walk on. He slowly walks down the steps, each step the crowd grow louder, cheering Guy on. Guy gets a little faster with every cheer and by the end of the steps he is at running pace and jumps over the barrier, quickly slides into the ring and jumps up onto the middle turnbuckle, raising his fist into the air. The roar of the crowd is deafening. Guy closes his eyes and soaks it up, then stands back down and looks up to the title hanging from the roof, a microphone gets throw to him, he catches it, not moving his gaze on the title.

Guy: Aggravated Assault… Here we are. And there it is….

He seems to be transfixed by the title

Guy: There… is the title that I’m going to win tonight… for Mother, for Tia and for all the fans that believed in me.

Guy breaks his stare, then turns out up to the stage

Guy: Ladder match. Knight vs. Martin, just as worthy, one holding a belt, one deserves a belt, both looking to gain a belt”, that’s what it’s been called. The others in the match, they do not matter, it’s just us Curtis. I’ll tell you the truth, you got to me Curtis, you killed your mother, you didn’t mean to, but you did. Any normal person would’ve lost control and quit AWO when that happened, no Curtis, I don’t lose control, I don’t quit. I fucking win, that’s what I do. Curtis, you say I need to respect you for me to even have a chance in that match. Hell kid, you haven’t even wrestled here yet, but for some reason I know one thing….I respect you. You nearly made me loose control, something none of my competitors have been able to do. Scruffy, Bond and even Mike has had his shots at me, they didn’t even make me feel uncomfortable! You, you did something that threw me completely off track, and I respect you for doing that, no matter what you did, I respect you. But I must tell you something, we aren’t over after this match, I will not forget, I can’t.

Words have been said. Things have been done. But as I said, all that, means nothing now. Its time, the address has been written and it’s been sent off, there’s no escaping. All the anger, all the hate will be sucked up and put into this match. We’ve just caught a train Curtis……… and the destinations Hell. The question is…who is the driver?

Guy lifts his arms into the air and flexes his muscles in one big movement. Pyro is shot out of the turnbuckles. Guy throws his microphone to the referee and then starts stretching, awaiting his opponent. He looks out to the crowd and a smile appears across his face. That is until “Laid to Rest” by Lamb of God begins to play. Ring announcer Larry makes his way to the center of the ring.

[Chris Bond]

Larry: Ladies and gentlemen. The following contest is a Ladder Match! It is for the AWO Survivor and p:V Extreme Championships respectively. These two titles will be unified tonight and the winner will be crowned the AWO Legacy Champion! Introducing already in the ring, standing 5’6” tall he is the current number one contender for the AWO World Title… he is Fat... erm, Guy Martin!

Guy glares at Larry but Larry just shrugs.

Larry: And his opponent. He is a member of the newly formed Legends Club and the current p:V Extreme Champion, he is Curtis Knight!

Guy locks on to the figure of Curtis Knight, who begins makes his way to the ring clad in his traditional ring attire including his chain mail arm covers and metal headgear.

Mike: Looks like the wrestler formally known as Fat Guy With Stick, but now known as Guy Martin, has decided to dedicate this match to his dead mother and dead crush. That’s one step away from Necrophilia Rob.

Rob: That’s just wrong. Why would he sleep with his dead mother’s corpse?!

Mike just looks over at Rob with a look of “WTF!” before the camera pans back to the ringside area. Curtis looks up at the belt and notices a ladder. He picks it up and goes to slide it into the ring but Guy makes a dash for Knight and baseball slide the ladder into Knight’s face.

Rob: Looks like the match is off to a nice start.

The ref calls for the bell and the match officially starts. Knight quickly makes his way to his feet, and Martin reaches through the second and third ropes and begins trying to pull Knight into the ring. Knight tries to whack Martin in the skull, but Guy manages to miss a few before pulling Knight up to the apron. Guy begins trying to suplex Knight into the ring. Wrapping his arm around the neck of his opponent, Guy tries to pull Knight up over the top rope.

Mike: What is Guy thinking?! Reverse it Knight send that former fat ass to the floor!

Rob: Well, that’s rude.

Somehow channeling Mike the color commentator, Knight reverses Guy’s attempt and vertical suplexes Martin over the top rope and down to the floor actually landing on the ladder earlier kicked in Curtis Knight’s face. The crowd starts a chant of “Holy Shit” and Knight leaps down on Guy with a leg drop from the ring apron. Knight quickly gets to his feet and drops a few forearms smashes into the face of Guy Martin, using his chain mail as weapons. Guy looks under the ring for something else, and pulls out several items including a table, a Singapore cane, and a wrench. He looks at the wrench and smiles. Picking it up he stares at it and waits for Martin to make his way to his feet. Martin gets up, with a small cut on his forehead allowing a trickle of blood to roll down his face. Martin turns around and Knight runs at Martin, bringing the wrench into contact with Guy’s face. Martin does a complete circle in the air, landing abdomen first onto the ladder.

Mike: It was Curtis Knight with the wrench in the library!

Rob: Very funny Mike, but it wasn’t a library where it happened...it was right here in Detroit!

Knight walks over to Martin revealing a crimson mask. Blood gushes down his face and Curtis Knight smiles and taunts the crowd. A massive amount of booing begins to flood the atmosphere. Knight turns around and goes to pick up Martin but is met with a Singapore cane shot to the skull. This sends Knight back a few steps but not down. He does have metal headgear on remember? However, this allows Martin to get to his feet and deliver an abdomen shot with the cane, and this sends Curtis to one knee. Martin looks at him and takes the Singapore cane and literally breaks it over Knight’s next. Knight falls to the arena floor and rolls around screaming. His metal headgear comes off, leaving him open to a couple of boots to the skull.

Rob: And the fight comes back and Knight is down! Looks like Guy’s getting ready to climb to his belt. He just slid the ladder into the ring.

Mike: Brilliant deduction Sherlock. What next, going to predict a tornado after it already happens?

Indeed Martin has slid the ladder into the ring and picks up Knight. He delivers a knife-edge chop to the upper chest area and the fans woo, in traditional Ric Flair fashion. Another chop and Guy looks to whip Knight into the ring barrier, but Curtis reverses it and sends Guy crashing into and over the barrier taking out an elderly fan. The crowd cheers, not for Knight…but for the fact that the action is really picking up. Curtis walks over to the guardrail and hops over. He lands right on the chest of Martin, using him as a cushion. Guy grabs for his abdomen and Curtis laughs. Knight gets to his knees and begins to pummel Guy’ forehead, hoping to open the lacerations and cause further damage. Guy tries to fight back, but most of his shots are blocked. Knight picks up Guy and literally lifts him by his neck and abdomen area and drops him upper chest first onto the ring barrier. Guy screams out in pain and Knight just laughs.

Rob: What is wrong with Knight? If he keeps it up, he could actually break Guy’s ribs!

Mike: Well compared to his mother’s untimely death…you can heal broken ribs, but you can’t bring the dead back to life.

Rob: How could you say something like that?!

Mike: What? I didn’t say anything you weren’t thinking…

Curtis hops over the railing and heads toward the Martin. He gives Guy a few kicks to the lower back and walks to the table. He begins setting it up. He stops half way through to go over Martin who began crawling under the apron. Curtis looks at him and bends down to pick him up, but gets a fire extinguisher to the face. Knight falls back and claws at his eyes. A scream is heard but that could have been from the lady in the front row her presumably burnt her mouth on the nachos.

Mike: I didn’t know we sold nachos… I’ll have to get a vendor’s attention. Hey, you with the hair!

Guy begins crawling under the ring some more and pulls a case of something out. Russian language is on the outside. And a fragile stamp can be seen. Knight begins making his way to his feet and stumbling his way over to Guy. Martin opens the top of the case and it is found to be a case of vodka!

Rob: Guy some how found a stash of Vodka under the ring. I guess Bond didn’t remember to get rid of that.

Mike: That’s what I need! Vodka would go great with my nachos!

Mike gets up from the announce table and walks toward the action. Martin reaches into the box and pulls out two bottles and takes one and smashes it over Knight’s head! …And before Knight even falls to the ground Guy smashes the other over his head, too! Mike now appears behind Guy.

Mike: Hey! Can I get a bottle of that?

Guy turns and shrugs and Mike smiles. Mike bends down to pick up a bottle but Knight has superkicked Guy in the face, sending him backwards and crashing down onto the case of vodka. Mike looks down and looks like he is about to cry… until he notices an unbroken bottle. He quickly snatches it up and runs to the announce table. Curtis, who now is bloody, and smelling of alcohol, walks back over to his table in process and fully erects the table. He smiles and tosses Martin into the ring. Looking to do some real damage, he starts kicking Guy over to the ropes near his table. Mike has now made it back to the announce table and Rob looks befuddled.

Rob: I thought you were a recovering alcoholic…

Knight picks Guy up by the neck and places him into the position for a powerbomb. Knight smiles and picks Guy up and sends him onto his shoulders but Guy has the handle of one of the broken bottles and begins jabbing it into Knight’s forehead, causing Curtis to stumble and fall to the ring. Guy quickly gets to his feet and sets up the ladder. Centering it in the ring, he begins to make his ascent up toward the title belts--the first in the match. The referee, who has stayed out of the way up until now, finally makes his way into the ring. Curtis slowly makes his way to his feet and notices Guy climbing. In fact, Guy is now to the top of the ladder and Curtis walks over to the ladder. He looks up at Guy and reaches for his opponent’s foot. Guy quickly kicks away Knight and begins reaching for the belt again, but suddenly he feels himself wobbling and realizes to late the Knight is tipping the ladder! Martin begins to fall through the air and suddenly stops, crotch first onto the top turnbuckle, and quickly falls to the ring mat.

Mike: That hurt my marble sack!

Curtis smiles and begins making his way up the ladder. The crowd is booing like it has never booed before and Knight is now halfway up the ladder. Guy starts to stir, but his hands are still holding his genitals. Curtis Knight looks down at Guy and smiles and stands atop the ladder reaching for the belt. Guy is now on his feet, and Knight has grabbed onto the belts. As he fumbles with the belts, trying to unclamp them, Guy quickly rushes over and begins pushing the ladder over. Knight, who has now noticed Martin is up attempts to regain his balance but falls backwards. He clears the ring ropes and falls right through the table he had set up! The crowd cheers loudly and starts up another “Holy Shit!” chant. Guy falls to his ass, and looks out to the crowd.

Rob: Climb Guy, climb! You earned it!

Guy begins making his way up the ladder, one rung at a time, and the crowd cheers him on. Knight isn’t even moving, well, except for a leg twitch, but that could be due to possible spinal damage. Guy makes his way to the top of the ladder and stands on the very top rung, looking out across the sea of people cheering. He reaches up and grabs the Extreme title and the Survivor Championship and the ref calls for the bell. Guy makes his way down the ladder and the referee holds his arm in the air.

Larry: Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this contest, and the Attitude Wrestling Organization’s first Legacy Champion… Guy Martin!

Rob: You’ve got to give it to Guy, who despite his Mother’s death and the fact that he was with out his stick, he still managed to win this contest.

Mike: But you’re forgetting about the help that Martin had, including, but not limited to, vodka, a Singapore cane, a ladder, and a table. I mean, Curtis didn’t need all that. He had the match won until that stupid emo Guy pushed over the ladder. If Knight has any damage I hope he sues Guy!

Suddenly the AWO-Tron flares to life to show Scruffy Dog walking backstage, seemingly headed for somewhere, most likely the ring curtain. At the sight of him, the crowd erupts with applause. He doesn't seem to notice, however, as he seems to focused on the match. Suddenly though, an unknown interviewer stops him in his tracks. Scruffy Dog almost doesn't stop, forcing the interviewer to actually walk directly in his path. Scruffy Dog glares at him.

Scruffy Dog: "What the hell do you...?"

Interviewer: "Please Sir, this is for Sickness, the AWO Magazine. We're trying to get the opinions and thoughts of wrestlers as they head out to their big matches tonight. It's just a coincidence that this cameraman happened by at the same time. Please, just a few questions before your match."

Scruffy Dog grunts, which is taken as an affirmative by the interviewer.

Interviewer: "Okay, thank you. First off... you're heading into one of the biggest matches you've been in for quite some time. And it's for the big one, the AWO World Title. How does that make you feel? Do you think you're ready to reclaim the gold?"

Scruffy Dog snatches the microphone from the interviewer, and nudges him off screen. He then turns to the camera, which adjusts to put him in the center.

Scruffy Dog: "You know what? I'll take it from here. Do I think I'm ready? Oh you have no idea how ready I am. You have no idea how long I've waited for this. I am absolutely pumped. Pure excitement is running through my veins, because my whole body knows that my time has come again. Not Mike Polowy's time, my time. Nick? The kid did good. He represented himself okay, and I'll give him that. But his time is over, and it's time for him to make way to the old AND the new... me. Now, I'd love to stay and chat... I really would... but to be honest, I have a match to go out there and win. I'd say 'wish me luck' but let's face it..."

Scruffy Dog has already turned away, but turns back to the interviewer who is back on screen, with a giant cocky grin.

Scruffy Dog: "... I don't need any."

Scruffy Dog walks off in a hurry, and the screen fades to black. The camera then cuts over to the announce table, where Mike is cleaning his plate of Nachos and has his bottle of Vodka a fourth gone. Rob looks at him in disbelief.

Rob: I can’t believe you ate that whole thing… are you going to drink the entire bottle too? You’ll be too plastered to even call the main event!

Mike: That’s why I’m waiting to finish it off during the main event. I don’t want to see my champion lose! I mean.. he’s no Cheap Shot.. but I gotta work with what I got…

"Crave" by The Butterfly Effect hits and the arena is plunged into darkness before a blue strobe light commences its violent, seizure-inducing routine. The light stops spinning around the arena, focusing on one grim silhouette atop the entrance ramp. Maverick stands, arms not outstretched as usual - instead, he stands dead still and without his Hardcore Title Belt.

Suddenly, Maverick wobbles, and then topples over, falling over the side of the ramp, 20 feet to the ground below, crashing through several tables. The fans all stand to try to see what just happened. Did Maverick just... die?

Meanwhile, in the downtown Detroit commercial area, a retailer is missing one of his mannequins that was mysteriously stolen earlier that day.

It literally takes 5 minutes for the fans to redirect their attention to the man standing in the middle of the ring, Maverick, he begins to speak, apparently oblivious to the spectacle that just took place.

Maverick: You know, I'm really quite excited about this match coming up. Triple Threat. World Title on the line. Special Guest referee. It really has it all. I would be expecting some pretty hefty ratings for that one. In one corner, we have Nick Polowy, in another we have Mike Polowy and in yet another corner we have Scruffy Dog. The man nobody wants, the man nobody needs and the man who neither wants nor needs anybody. Then, if it wasn't exciting enough already, we have Chris Bond as the special guest referee who could, based on past experience, spontaneously decide to murder himself at any point throughout the match. If that doesn't equal ratings, I don't know what does.

However, I'm not just here to advertise the main event, I'm sure, uh, President... Bond has had all the tech guys working furiously to throw together a hype reel. Something with black and white, a metal song in the background and knowing Bond, a few flashes to the Gimp from Pulp Fiction. No, my agenda is of a slightly more... personal nature.

You see, I had Mike Polowy dead to rights, DEAD to rights on several occasions at Survival of the Fittest. He was gone for all money, he hardly even knew where he was or why. In fact, he was probably quite confused as to why I was pummeling the shit out of him in that case. I made you tap, Polowy. You tapped and you tapped hard. I would even describe it as furious. I decimated you Mike and your only saviour was a man who wants to kill you tonight. You have no friends here, no allies. You can ship them in from interstate like mail order brides, but you and I both know that they can hardly save you.

How do you even fill in that form, anyway?

'I'm a man, seeking a man, between the ages of 30 and 50, to come into my ring and demonstrate pure talent.'?

Fuck off Polowy, you and I both know it was pure potluck that the men who answered your classified ad were semi-professional wrestlers. Regardless, Scruffy Dog demonstrated beautifully how little talent it takes to get smacked in the face with a steel chair and cost me a match, as such, I suggest a match. Not just A match. The match. The match to end all matches. No more bullshit, no more games, just you and me in a wrestling ring with no distractions. All mail order gimps banned from ringside. Just Maverick and Mike Polowy in a No Disqualification match with no novelty referees. If you have the World Title at the time, I'm sure you won't hesitate to chuck it on the line, but the most important thing is... I WILL make you tap. And this time, I won't stop when the bell rings. I'm going to snap your leg off at the knee. There's something to think about, Mike.

Maverick adjusts his aviator sunglasses before leaving the ring, heading up the ramp again but before his music hits, he raises the microphone one last time.

Maverick: Oh Mike, I know it's bad luck in the entertainment industry to wish people good luck so to use an old cliché... Break a leg.

"Crave" by The Butterfly Effect hits again and Maverick saunters back up the ramp with the main event just minutes away.

[Chris Bond]

Mike: Yes! Maverick is back! Bond promised us a word from his Ego Trip ally, and here it is! He’s challenged Mike Polowy to a match!

Rob: If I do not agree with either of them, Maverick did mention that if Mike had the belt, he wouldn’t mind facing Polowy for that title. That’s a match I’d love to see.

Mike: That’s a must. But it looks like the main event is up now, because here comes Larry.

Larry: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following in the main event. It is scheduled for one fall. It is a special referee contest. If Nick Polowy loses, he is gone forever! Introducing first…

The arena dims, and a spotlight shines on the entrance ramp. “Rockstar” by Nickelback begins to play. And, in a scene eerily similar to an old Cheap Shot entrance, a giant photograph of Chris Bond appears on the AWO-Tron. Slowly descending the tron, the photograph fades into the real thing as Chris Bond walks out from the curtain and looks out to the crowd. Wearing the traditional referee garb, Bond walks down the ramp.

Larry: The special guest referee for this contest, he is one-half of the AWO Tag-Team Champions, and the Interim-President for the Attitude Wrestling Organization, he is Chris Bond!

Bond smiles and slides into the ring and stretches a little. Jogging in place, he waits for the competitors. KoRn’s “Falling Away From Me” replaces Bond’s music and Scruffy Dog makes his way to the ring. Walking down the ramp, the crowd begins to cheer for the AWO Legend and champion hopeful. Sliding into the ring he walks to the turnbuckle furthest from the ramp and climbs it. He raises a fist in the air, and his music begins to die down. Scruffy Dog glares at Bond before looking toward the entrance area. “Animal I Have Become” by Three Days Grace starts up and the crowd gets on their feet. Reigns of massive boos begin to shower the entrance area and Mike Polowy begins t make his way to the ring. Sneering at the crowd, Polowy continues his stare at Scruffy Dog. Walking up the ring steps, his music dies down and he too stretches.

Rob: If these two don’t explode it’ll be a miracle. Just waiting on the Champ.

Mike: And what a grand entrance he has…

Carl Orff’s “Carmina Burana (O’ Fortuna)” begins to play, and a shower of gold sparks begin to fall from the top of the AWO-Tron. When the curtain of gold pyro stops, AWO World Champion Nick Polowy steps out from the back, dressed in his wrestling attire, with his traditional Aviator sunglasses. When he slides in the ring, he looks at his brother and Scruffy Dog, and then at Bond. He hands him the title, and removes his “New Breed of Superstar” t-shirt and tosses it to the arena floor. Bond shows the title to Nick, and then to Scruffy, and then to Mike, and finally raises it into the air. He then hands it to a ring technician.

Larry: On one side of the ring, standing approximately six-foot, two-inches, and weighing in at roughly 260 pounds, from Nothingville, he is Scruffy Dog!

Also standing at six-foot, two-inches, and weighing in at 248 pounds, he is the leader of the Legend’s Club.. he is Michael “the Mike Effect” Polowy!

And the champion. From Dunkirk, New York. He is weighing in at 210 pounds. He is the Aviator himself, AWO World Champion, Nick Polowy!

Larry exits the ring and Bond calls for the bell. The three are about to go at it when Nick Polowy walks right up to Bond and threatens to hit him. Mike and Scruffy stand there and look at the two. Bond points out that he is the ref, and Nick sucker punches Bond. The ring attendant quickly calls for the bell. Nick slides out of the ring and heads for his Championship belt. Mike and Scruffy Dog look at Nick very pissed off. Bond rubs his face, but grabs a microphone.

Bond: Nick, heh, I know what you’re up too. But since I am the referee, and the Interim-President, I am now making this match a No-Disqualifications match! Restart the goddamned match!

Rob: Nick thought he was going to get away with his title by a DQ! But Bond made it a No-DQ match and restarted it! Haha! This is..

Mike: Horrible! That bastard! He screwed Nick!

Nick is livid and starts to throw a tantrum. The crowd cheer at Bond’s decision. Mike and Scruffy smile, which is weird, because Scruffy hardly ever smiles…but the two of them slide out of the ring and trap Nick between the two of them. Nick looks worried, but runs for the ring. But both Mike and Scruffy grab onto a leg and yank him out of the ring, sending him crashing to the arena floor with a loud ‘thud’. Bond stands leaning on the top rope watching this, just smiling. Mike and Scruffy both send kicks into the lower back of Nick before they realize their in a fight against each other. Mike winds back and delivers a huge right hand to the head of Scruffy sending him stumbling backward. Mike takes a few steps back and then makes a leap over his brother and takes Scruffy to the floor. Mike lays into the facial area of Scruffy Dog with lefts and rights. Scruffy attempts to block them, but Mike is relentless. Nick, who has gotten up now, holds his lower back then looks to see Mike pummeling Scruffy Dog. He looks around and then runs and delivers a dropkick to the back of Mike’s head! The crowd cheers at the semi-high risk move.

Mike: Finally some real action. Hopefully Scruffy’s busted open!

Rob: Would you like some blood with your nachos and vodka Mike?

Bond is still standing in the ring when he looks down and notices the three of them going at it. Exchanging blows. He reluctantly gets out of the ring and walks over to the announce table. He takes a seat on the corner of the table and watches them continue their fistfight. Nick quickly gets brought down to one knee and Scruffy whips Mike into the guardrail. Mike winces in pain and Scruffy goes over to Nick and clotheslines the kid to the floor. A small cheer for Scruffy, but he ignores it and attempts to pick up the World Champ. Nick battles back and hits a low blow. Bond sees it and smiles, and mocks an “Ouch” type comment. Mike runs at Scruffy and uses Nick’s back as a boost and leaps into the air trying a Cross Body block on Scruffy who ducks at the last second sending Mike crashing into Bond! The crowd cheer and Scruffy laughs before Nick out of nowhere kicks him square in the jaw. Scruffy topples over and Nick falls to the ground. Guy Martin suddenly is seen walking down the ramp, trademark stick in his hand. He walks past Nick, who is catching his breath. Guy steps over Scruffy who has a glazed look on his face, and walks right over to the heap of bodies that make up Bond and Mike. He picks Bond up and tosses him to the side and starts wailing away at Mike’s neck and upper back with his stick and a mixed reaction is heard from the crowd.

Mike: This is completely unfair…

Rob: I agree, it appears Bond may have opened a can of worms with his No DQ stipulation.

Guy picks Mike up and delivers a quick DDT to the arena floor before smiling and picking Polowy back up and tossing him into the ring. Nick sees this and quickly walks behind Guy and tosses Bond into the ring. Guy has rolled into the ring and walks over to a prone Mike Polowy before quickly being grabbed by the back and being tossed over the top rope by Nick Polowy! Bond is beginning to stir and Nick looks to the top turnbuckle and signals for a finish! He climbs the ring post and jumps off hitting “The Upstage” (Shooting Star Press) right onto his older brother. Nick covers and Bond crawls over.

Mike: Not like this! Come on, Mike… come on!

Bond begins to make the count. He brings his hand down once, he brings his hand down twice, and he goes to bring his hand down for the third time but is quickly pulled out of the ring by Scruffy Dog! The crowd cheers and Nick looks like he’s going to scream! Scruffy slides into the ring and takes Nick down with a quick tackle. Scruffy gives Nick a few lefts and rights before Nick rolls out of the ring. Scruffy goes over to Mike and starts kicking away at Mike, who begins to move now. Mike tries to block the shots but Scruffy just mounts the former Survivor Champion. One shot, two shots, three shots. Scruffy is trying to make Mike bleed.

Rob: What is Nick up to?

Mike: Well, I can’t very well tell you because I’m starting to get a buzz for one thing.. and for another I can’t see a damned thing!

A camera quickly cuts to Nick who is setting up a table on the outside of the ring. Nick sets it up and looks under the ring for something else and finds it. He picks up a baseball bat and slides into the ring. Out of the corner of his eye, Scruffy notices Nick and gets up to confront him, and gets a bat to the gut. Scruffy bends and Nick goes to hit him again, but Mike pushes the hunched over Dog into Nick sending Nick crashing through the ropes and falling to the floor. The crowd boos, and Mike starts working on Scruffy’s legs. A few stomps and then Mike bends down and delivers a leg lock. Scruffy screams in pain and delivers a few shots to Mike to unlock the hold, but he just bends back on Scruffy’s leg. Bond slides into the ring now, still a bit groggy, but looking to see if Scruffy submits. Scruffy screams a defiant “No!” and Mike leans back even more. Scruffy yelps and quickly takes his fingers and begins pushing in on Mike’s eyes. Mike screams and quickly lets go. Scruffy climbs to one leg and hops around to get the blood flowing again, and Mike takes him down with a spear. Mike walks over to Scruffy and attempts to lock him into the sharpshooter! Scruffy quickly battles out of it and rolls out of the ring. He walks around the ring and toward the ramp. Mike rolls out of the ring and quickly follows him, only to be taken down by Nick Polowy! Scruffy looks back and notices Nick taking a few punches at Mike and walks over behind the World Champ. He kicks at Nick’s head and sends Nick to the floor. He picks Nick up and tosses him shoulder first into the ring steps. A loud ‘thud’ is heard and Scruffy smiles.

Mike: I hate to say it.. but this is turning into one of the most heated contests for the World Title in a long, long time.

Rob: Yeah… it’s weird for the AWO.

Scruffy picks up Nick and tosses him into the ring. He rolls in and begins to jab away at Nick, before picking him up and working away at Polowy’s right arm. Scruffy Dog begins wrenching back on the arm with a hammerlock and then throws Nick to the floor, and locking him into an arm bar.

Rob: Scruffy is really hyper-extending that elbow and shoulder. He could do some real damage.

Mike starts to get up and begins pulling himself up the ring apron and slowly stands atop the ring apron, leaning on the top rope to get his breath. Scruffy is locking on the arm bar, trying to force Nick to tap. Bond checks on Nick to see if he submits, when out of nowhere, Maverick jumps the barrier and runs up behind Mike and delivers a G-Force right through the table set up at ringside! Maverick looks down at his carnage and smiles before hopping over the railing and exiting through the crowd.

Mike: Where the hell did he come from?!

Rob: I don’t know, but so far, everybody is attacking Mike!

Scruffy has now released the hold to see what has happened. Bond is looking pissed. He walks over to the ring announcer and demands a microphone.

Bond: Goddammit! I’m sick and tired of this shit. Lower the steel cage! This is now a cage match!

Bond tosses the mic at Larry and rolls out of the ring. He goes over to the debris and picks Mike up by the neck and walks him over to the side of the ring and tosses him into the ring. Bond too rolls into the ring and the cage is fully lowered, put into place. Bond looks at Scruffy to continue on. Scruffy just shrugs and kicks away at Mike. Nick comes up behind Scruffy and dropkicks his knee, sending him crashing into the rope. He bounces backward and Nick nails a jumping reverse DDT. The crowd cheers, and Nick gets to his feet, still holding his arm. Mike starts to get up and looks around. He stares at the cage in disbelief. He goes over to confront Bond. He pushes Bond and Bond tries to remind him that he is the official and the match is still going on. Mike winds back but Nick grabs his arm and spins him around and nails a DDT! Bond looks down at Mike and shakes his head. Nick is standing over Scruffy and Mike and smiles before heading up over the ropes and begins to climb the cage.

Mike: What is this? Nick’s third attempt at winning the match?

Prez Shay quickly comes running down the ramp with something in his hand. Bond is checking on Scruffy to see if he’s alright when he notices a figure running down the ramp. Nick now is at the top of the cage and starts yelling at Shay. Shay smiles. Bond walks over to see what the commotion is and notices what Shay is holding.

[Chris Bond]

Rob: Is that what I think it is? Is that… is that the super cattle prod?!

Before Nick realizes it, Shay has stuck the super charged prod to the steel cage and zaps it. Electricity is shot through the prod, conducting through the cage and finding it’s way into Nick’s body! After a few moments, Nick lets go and falls to the ring, crashing through the canvas! Bond looks at Shay who smiles and heads toward the back. Bond walks over to where Nick’s mangled body lay and all anyone can see is two legs sticking out of the hole. Bond laughs a bit before noticing that Scruffy Dog and Mike have began to stir. Mike makes it to his feet first and heads over to where Nick’s body lays. He looks down and turns to confront Bond but is quickly laid out with a swinging neck breaker by Scruffy! As Mike’s body is being dragged to the canvas, his foot is traveling through the air and manages to connect, quite hard, with Bond’s head. Bond falls to the mat, and Scruffy Dog looks annoyed. He walks over to Bond to try and wake him, but he looks out for a bit, so he just turns and walks to Mike’s body. He bends down and throws a fist in the air. He picks Mike up by the head and places him between his legs. But, before he could deliver his patented Scruffbuster, Mike low blows the Living Legend and quickly delivers his Implant DDT! He smiles and looks down at Scruffy, before walking over to the door on the cage.

Rob: It can’t be over after all of this? Like that?!

Mike: Can we get some Febreze out here? It smells like cooked flesh.

Mike has now reached the door and begins making his way out of the cage. He looks back at Scruffy’s body and smiles and hops out of the ring! He turns and walks over to where the championship belt lays and doesn’t notice a movement throughout the crowd.

Rob: Is that.. is that who I think it is?

Mike: Who? I don’t see anyone. All I see is our new World Champion!

Rob: That’s.. that’s former AWO member Multitude. We haven’t seen him since he got injured just two weeks into his stay here.

Mike: Was I here then?

Indeed it is Multitude, who makes his way over to the ring area, and ducks down as Mike Polowy is making his way back to the ramp area. Suddenly the cage door flings into his face and Mike falls to the ground. Multitude stands up and walks over to Mike who is now busted open. Scruffy Dog is starting to stir. Multitude picks up the World Title and takes a few steps back. Mike stirs and Multitude runs and rams the championship belt into the face of Mike Polowy. Mike performs a full circle in the air and lands face first onto the ring floor. Scruffy Dog calls for Multitude. He tells him to toss Mike back into the ring. The masked man of the people salutes Scruffy and picks up Mike’s body and hurls him into the ring, and shuts the door.

Mike: This is a disgrace! Scruffy Dog just screwed Mike Polowy!

Rob: You’re forgetting about Multitude, Mike.

Mike: Who in the blue hell is Multitude?!

Bond slowly gets to his feet and notices that Scruffy Dog has Mike set up for the Scruffbuster, and quickly delivers his patented finisher to Polowy sending his crimson covered face into the canvas. Scruffy rolls Mike over and covers him. Bond makes the pin.

One

Two…

Three!

Bond quickly calls for the bell and the cage begins to raise.

Larry: Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this contest, and NEW World Champion… Scruffy Dog!

Mike: That is a goddamned disgrace! Mike Polowy should be our World Champion, not that has-been Scruffy Dog!

Rob: Well, since Bond was out, he did what he saw! Congratulations to our new champion!

Multitude slides into the ring with the championship belt and walks over to Scruffy. He hands him the blood covered World title and Scruffy smiles as Bond raises his hand into the air. Scruffy pulls his arm from Bond and spits in his face. He quickly kicks Bond in the gut and delivers a Scruffbuster to the President! Scruffy looks down at Bond and smiles, before heading to Multitude. The two men shake hands. Multitude forces the microphone from an exiting Larry, who reluctantly gives it up. Multitude heads to the center of the ring, and stands next to Scruffy.

Multitude: Every legend is born though tragedy – for every significant relic on this planet there has been tears shed and blood spilled and for you, Mike Polowy, I predict only the latter. I have no pretence of mockery when I say that you ARE a legend, a hero to those whiny, antisocial children in every playground in America who always want to play the game, but can never win – for those children whose dreams will never amount to the contents of your catheter. Just like… your dreams.
Surely you wanted something more than this – to be the bottom of the top in a fed you’ve been in for far too long? To be dogged by parody from your peers and disrespect from your fans regardless of how well you seem to be doing, it just doesn’t seem worthwhile, does it? Your only friends in the locker room are those you hire out of your own pocket and invent titles for. Your only fans are intoxicated or gay. To put it bluntly, Mike, if it was your dream to be a wrestler, you might as well just empty the catheter bag and start again… Perhaps in a profession where you’re actually well respected and exceptional. But that profession is almost certainly illegal, Mike, and that respect is almost certainly due to the fact that you saw that you were essentially ill equipped to be a professional wrestler and had the courage to walk away…
And so we find ourselves here… And I think we both know that this is far from over, unlike your career. And similarly unlike your career, nobody’s going to want to miss this…

Multitude hands the microphone to Scruffy Dog and walks over to Mike’s limp body. He picks him up and delivers his own version of Mike’s Implant DDT. Scruffy Dog looks at the carnage and walks over to Bond’s prone body. Bending down so he is face to face with the Interim-AWO President, he begins to speak.

Scruffy Dog: By the way Bond.. now we’re even.

Scruffy smiles and tosses the microphone onto Bond’s chest. The two men make their way out of the ring as KoRn’s “Falling Away From Me” blares over the PA system. The two men hold each other’s arms in the air as a signal of victory as the crowd cheers on madly! Multitude and Scruffy Dog make their way to the back as the camera cuts to the announce table.

Mike: I still can’t believe that that bastard from Nothingville defeated the Mike Effect! It’s disgusting that this ever occurred!

Rob: That may be your opinion but there is one thing that is fact. When Mike gets up, you can bet that there will be some serious hell to pay!

Mike: Hopefully by then we’ll have our real President back and he’ll show Bond how to run things.

Rob: Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for tuning in. This has been one night full of surprises, with the return of the two legends in their own right and two new champions. I’m Rob and he’s Mike. Good Night.

The screen quickly fades to the back, the camera quickly pans across the area to find Nick Polowy, limping to the back. Nick quickly notices the camera and motions it over.

Nick: If I could just get your guy's attention, just for a moment. I know this is exciting and everything, and you all want to get out of here, but I just need a second. First off, I'd like to give my best wishes to our newly crowned World Champion... AWO Legend Scruffy Dog... I'm not going to get soft here. I still can't stand you. I miss the title already. I was born for that gold... but I guess these things will happen. Maybe it's just time I let this all go and find something better. Maybe this is all below me. I just don't know, you guys.

Retirement matches are always a funny thing, because you know that once the person realizes what else there is in the world, outside of wrestling, that they will be back. Well I promise you guys that this is the last time I will stand in an AWO ring. This will be the last time you see the Aviator in action. I'm done. Whether you are glad, sad... Whatever. It was never about you. This was my dream, above all my other potential and actual job choices. This is what Mike and I were going to be when we grew up. It was the one thing we both loved and agreed on. It worked out a little better for him than it did for me... You can't win everything.

Honestly, it's sad to leave you guys, but I'm not going piss and moan about how I was once AWO World Champion at whatever job I go to. Hell, I'll probably take some time off of everything, sit back in my Kiawah beach house... Just give it some time, so that the public can forget about me and I can live a normal life. I made it to the top of the AWO. I was at the bottom. I consider that success here, and I can leave and feel accomplished. I just want to thank the ones who gave me a chance. Even through personal hard work, you won't always make it to the top. Earth is a shitty place to live and a lot of people will try to screw you out of what you feel like you deserve. Whatever. Guys, I really don't have much else to say. The fans, you didn't do anything for me in my career. Bad publicity isn't still publicity. It's a whole different ballgame there, so don't even try it. Half of the AWO and NMW roster, past and present, didn't contribute a damn thing to my career. I had some high points and even more low points, but it has all been worth it, and I don't regret a fucking second of any of it. Whether I was spanking the referee or sipping Scruffy Dog Cola, it was all fun. Well the fun is over. My time is up. I'm sure I'll see quite a few of you in hell... The better, honest of you... Farewell. This is Nick Polowy, Nick Blitz, Nick Dog, Nick Bond, The Aviator, The New Breed In Superstar, signing off.

Nick looks around, hearing most of the crowd still booing, and just takes in the glory of being hated for just one last second, before walking off as the screen slowly fades to black. The AWO logo flashes on the screen and AWO: Aggravated Assault officially comes to a close.